The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
- The Patriots defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
79%POTENCY
-16.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Patriots, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.