The Snap Count Hex of New York Jets
New York Jets defense
“The Jets defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins New York Jets defense's week
- The Jets defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
- The Jets defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
73%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Jets locker room
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Jets, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Breece Hall
- Garrett Wilson
- Kenyon Sadiq
- Braelon Allen
- Mason Taylor
- Omar Cooper Jr.
- Adonai Mitchell
- Geno Smith
- Jelani Woods
- Sterling Shepard
- Joseph Manjack IV
- Cade Klubnik
FAQ
How do I curse New York Jets defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New York Jets defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New York Jets defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.