The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Pharaoh Brown
Pharaoh Brown · IND · TE
“Brown finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Brown's week
- Brown gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
- Brown is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
79%POTENCY
-9.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bears locker room
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Brown, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jonathan Taylor
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
- Oronde Gadsden
FAQ
How do I curse Pharaoh Brown in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Pharaoh Brown is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Pharaoh Brown actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.