The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- A mysterious flag erases Patterson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
83%POTENCY
-11.4PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Patterson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.