The Wide Left Hex of Ryan Fitzgerald
Ryan Fitzgerald · CAR · K
“Fitzgerald attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Fitzgerald's week
- Fitzgerald gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Fitzgerald is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
90%POTENCY
-10.4PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Fitzgerald's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Ryan Fitzgerald in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ryan Fitzgerald is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ryan Fitzgerald actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.