The Doink Hex of Ryan Fitzgerald
Ryan Fitzgerald · CAR · K
“Fitzgerald gets 2 attempts, both blocked by someone who is not even tall.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Fitzgerald's week
- Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Fitzgerald trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.
- Fitzgerald goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
89%POTENCY
-15.8PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Bengals jersey, ironically worn
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Fitzgerald's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Ryan Fitzgerald in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ryan Fitzgerald is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ryan Fitzgerald actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.