The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- LaPorta finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
84%POTENCY
-13.4PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Falcons locker room
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
LaPorta, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.