The Blocking Assignment Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.
- LaPorta has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
84%POTENCY
-12.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
LaPorta, LaPorta, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.