The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
- LaPorta gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
91%POTENCY
-17.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Texans locker room
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
LaPorta, LaPorta, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.