The Blocking Assignment Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“A localized thunderstorm forms over LaPorta's stadium. Only over LaPorta.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- LaPorta will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
88%POTENCY
-15.1PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
LaPorta's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.