The Blocking Assignment Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
- LaPorta finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
89%POTENCY
-13.9PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take LaPorta's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.