The Blocking Assignment Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- LaPorta sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
88%POTENCY
-17.5PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
LaPorta drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.