The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over LaPorta's stadium. Only over LaPorta.
76%POTENCY
-19.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A single Bears jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take LaPorta's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Harold Fannin Jr.
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- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.