The Mystery Tweak Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- LaPorta is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
77%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
Incantation
Eye of Dolphins, tongue of ref,
Bring Lions down to grief,
LaPorta scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.