The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- LaPorta will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
79%POTENCY
-9.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
LaPorta drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Amon-Ra St. Brown
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- Colston Loveland
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- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
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- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.