The Blocking Assignment Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- LaPorta will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
76%POTENCY
-15PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A single Eagles jersey, ironically worn
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
LaPorta, LaPorta, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.