The Chip-and-Release Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets a "catch" that is overturned. Then another. The ref is now his nemesis.
- LaPorta gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
86%POTENCY
-9.2PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
LaPorta's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.