The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.
- LaPorta stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.
82%POTENCY
-12.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Eye of Seahawks, tongue of ref,
Bring Lions down to grief,
LaPorta scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.