The Mystery Tweak Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
- The broadcast shows LaPorta on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
85%POTENCY
-15.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Patriots locker room
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
LaPorta, LaPorta, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.