The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- LaPorta scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
80%POTENCY
-14.5PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
LaPorta drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.