The Chip-and-Release Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- LaPorta goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
72%POTENCY
-16.3PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
LaPorta, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.