The Late Scratch Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“A localized thunderstorm forms over LaPorta's stadium. Only over LaPorta.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- The broadcast shows LaPorta on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
77%POTENCY
-19.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make LaPorta's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.