The Hamstring Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
- LaPorta gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
91%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take LaPorta's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.