The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.
- LaPorta is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
79%POTENCY
-19.9PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
LaPorta, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.