The Snap Count Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- LaPorta scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
73%POTENCY
-18.3PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A single sock, mismatched, from the 49ers locker room
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
LaPorta, LaPorta, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.