The Blocking Assignment Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.
- Johnson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Penn State's biggest rival.
85%POTENCY
-10.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Johnson, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.