The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Penn State's biggest rival.
- Johnson stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.
81%POTENCY
-16.4PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Johnson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.