The Blocking Assignment Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Ref: "Number Johnson, that's a flag." Johnson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
86%POTENCY
-18.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Johnson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.