The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Johnson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Penn State's biggest rival.
81%POTENCY
-11.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Johnson, Johnson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.