The Mystery Tweak Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
- Johnson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
85%POTENCY
-18.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A used challenge flag
Incantation
Eye of 49ers, tongue of ref,
Bring Giants down to grief,
Johnson scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.