The Chip-and-Release Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Penn State's biggest rival.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- A mysterious flag erases Johnson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
72%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Johnson, Johnson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.