The Phantom Flag Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.
- Johnson is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
85%POTENCY
-10PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Cowboys jersey, ironically worn
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Johnson, Johnson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.