The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Penn State's biggest rival.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Johnson's stadium. Only over Johnson.
- Johnson has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
84%POTENCY
-19.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A single Seahawks jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Johnson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.