The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Theo Johnson
Theo Johnson · NYG · TE
“Johnson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Penn State's biggest rival.
- Johnson catches 2 balls for 11 yards and a nice hug from a referee.
79%POTENCY
-10PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bills locker room
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Johnson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Malik Nabers
- Colston Loveland
- Cam Skattebo
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Theo Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Theo Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Theo Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.