The Chip-and-Release Hex of T.J. Hockenson
T.J. Hockenson · MIN · TE
“Hockenson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Hockenson's week
- Hockenson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Hockenson's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
92%POTENCY
-11.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Hockenson, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Justin Jefferson
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
- Oronde Gadsden
FAQ
How do I curse T.J. Hockenson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If T.J. Hockenson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing T.J. Hockenson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.