The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Kessman's stadium. Only over Kessman.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Kessman kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.
86%POTENCY
-14.1PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Kessman's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.