The Late Scratch Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- Kessman is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
83%POTENCY
-16PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Kessman's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.