The Hamstring Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Kessman is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman will be perfect on extra points and absolutely nothing else.
- Kessman will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
86%POTENCY
-16.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Texans fan
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Kessman drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.