The Late Scratch Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.
- A mysterious flag erases Kessman's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
89%POTENCY
-10.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Giants jersey, ironically worn
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Kessman drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.