The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Kessman is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
83%POTENCY
-9.1PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single Titans jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Kessman drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.