The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Kessman attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.
90%POTENCY
-12PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Kessman's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.