The Upright Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Kessman is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
79%POTENCY
-16.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A used challenge flag
- A single Browns jersey, ironically worn
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
Kessman, Kessman, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.