The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Kessman's stadium. Only over Kessman.
- Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.
83%POTENCY
-16.9PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single Jets jersey, ironically worn
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Kessman's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.