The Doink Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Kessman is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
- Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Kessman trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.
77%POTENCY
-16.3PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Kessman's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.