The Shank Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Kessman is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Pittsburgh's biggest rival.
- Kessman is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
82%POTENCY
-17PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Kessman's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.