The Upright Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Kessman's stadium. Only over Kessman.
- Kessman gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
77%POTENCY
-14.4PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Kessman's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.