The Shank Hex of Alex Kessman
Alex Kessman · CAR · K
“Kessman is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Kessman's week
- Kessman gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- The broadcast shows Kessman on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
84%POTENCY
-14.9PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A single Browns jersey, ironically worn
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Kessman's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Chuba Hubbard
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Bryce Young
- Jalen Coker
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Kessman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Kessman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Kessman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.