The Upright Hex of Andre Szmyt
Andre Szmyt · CLE · K
“Szmyt warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Szmyt's week
- Szmyt is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Szmyt gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
77%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Szmyt, Szmyt, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Quinshon Judkins
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- KC Concepcion Jr.
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Dylan Sampson
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Denzel Boston
FAQ
How do I curse Andre Szmyt in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Andre Szmyt is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Andre Szmyt actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.