The Hamstring Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Cardinals defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
83%POTENCY
-10.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single Titans jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Cardinals, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.