The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Braelon Allen
Braelon Allen · NYJ · RB
“Allen's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Wisconsin's biggest rival.
- Allen is "listed as the lead back" and then watches a 3-man committee eat his lunch.
85%POTENCY
-12.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bengals locker room
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Allen, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Braelon Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Braelon Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Braelon Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.